I am Mike. Here me roar.

... or that's what Sky insisted on calling it - the Sports News channel wouldn't shut up about it all week. The clash of the titans! North vs South x 2! Championship deciders in September! Etc etc...

I made it through work without finding out any of the scores, which I was pretty proud of. Then headed straight over to K/H/R's flat for a cracking Sunday roast of three courses: Hawys's justifiably famed tomato soup; lots of gorgeous roast vegetables and stuffing and gravy you could drink and chicken and everything; and the crumbliest crumble I've ever had. Absolutely lovely meal, and hit the spot perfectly after a weekend on my feet cleaning up after kids and their shithead parents. But, despite its magnificance, 'twas but the preamble to the evening's main course: Match of the Day 2.

Hansen in the studio with Chiles, always a good sight - and while Alan's "A Beautiful Mind" quip was painfully preordained (acting as a cunning advert for BBC1), he showed Lee up as the painted-eyebrows amateur he is. And the football! Well, neither of the big matches were amazing - but two results I wanted, so not really complaining. Arsenal played very very well (because, as Joel and Hansen pointed out, they were allowed to) although it looked as though they were going to really miss Henry before the excellent Fabregas played in Adebeyor. And it was Ronaldo's fault too, the bell-end.

Then Didier Drogba scored the best goal I've ever seen him score - no contest, really, it really was a brilliant finish - to win the next match 1-0 to Chelski. Ballack sent off! Apparently for the first time in his career... I thought he was something of a bad-boy? Guess not. Anyway Jose wasn't too pissed off because he knows this means he doesn't have to fit Ballack and Lampard into his team for the next three league games, and can give the team some WIDTH again as a result - which will no doubt help.

Oh shit look at the time. I am meant to be at the bus stop soon to go to the cinema with Katie. But first, Blackburn's David Bentley as you've never seen him before:

Yes, I always said he belonged in a ruff, and now I've finally taken the two minutes out of my life to make it clear. I can rest easy tonight.