Well, at last I have found something which truly pisses me off about my job at Borders: James fucking Morrison, one of the several albums on rotation. Twice a day, I hear that. Twice. A. Day.

Music execs were clearly sitting around a penthouse doing copious amounts of cocaine, verbally masturbating and pontificating about the musical success stories of the past year, ever vigilant in their quest for the Next Big Thing. One name stood out above all else; a man with hit singles, a hit album and - gasp! - subsequent success in the uncrackable US market: James Blunt.
"What we need to do" said one filthy rich bigwig "is take the essential inherent blandness of Blunt's records and multiply it by itself; we need to create Blunt squared".
"Great idea" said another "I know this lad who knows how to play guitar and can sing in tune. And his name doesn't rhyme with cunt!"
"Get him in here yesterday."
[sniiifffff]

Look out for him on Top of the.... oh.

And thus, James Morrison came to be (pictured above).

Truly, a singer so offensively, mind-numbingly bland that he makes James Blunt sound.... well, I was gonna say Marvin Gaye, but that ain't true. I'll settle with this: he makes James Blunt sound marginally more charismatic than he is - which I always thought was impossible. If this trend continues then by around 2009 the public will be buying music so bland that it technically doesn't exist, and this cannot be a good thing, either for the public or for the very fabric of reality.

Morrison's album is called Undiscovered. Please, for God's sake, help it stay that way.